Funny Things Kids Say

When it comes to health and how our bodies work, even adults get things wrong. It’s no wonder that kids can get a little confused. Here are some of the funniest things kids have said and asked about health.

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Routine Checkup?

“My little sister was at the doctor’s office for her annual check up–she had to be somewhere around 3. The nurse was asking all the standard coordination type questions–touch your nose, put your hands up, jump, etc. Being a healthy capable little devil, she’s doing everything fine. Then, the nurse says, “stand on one foot.” My little sister looks at the nurse, looks down, and hesitates. Then she walks over and stands on one of the nurse’s feet.”

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Acting Chops

“My girlfriend was in the pediatrician’s office with her five-year-old son for a routine checkup. A nurse glanced at his chart and announced that he was overdue for a particular shot. When the nurse left the room, the little boy threw himself back upon the examination table and stage-whispered, in a wavering voice, ‘Do you have any idea…(pause for drama)…what I’ve been through?’ ”

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Awkward

During a doctor’s visit, the urologist asked my 3-year-old son to pull his pants and underwear down. When she went to examine him he looked at her and said “awkward”.

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A Mother’s Devotion

Josh, asking Dr. Oz a question: “When I was little, I swallowed a quarter, how long should it take to come out because my mom was looking for it for 8 days, literally! Eight days.”

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Pots and Pans

Evie  – age seven after a drug-awareness program at school: “Mum, how do you smoke a pot? Do you stick your head in it? What are they breathing in? Won’t the steam burn you if the stove is on?”

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Gut Feeling

“My husband overheard his son talking with his friends about testicles at about age 8. The conversation went like this. ‘Those are the things that are underneath your penis.’ ‘I think those are called balls,’ tapping his chin thoughtfully. ‘No they aren’t. They are right here,’ pointing to his abdomen. ‘What?’ ‘You know, your large intesticles and small intesticles.’

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Embarrassing Questions

“When I was pregnant, I ended up having to take my three year old daughter to one of my OB appointments. My doctor had to do a vaginal exam to which my daughter replied loudly ‘Mommy, how come you show your ‘gina to EVERYONE!!??’ ”

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